Thursday, January 21, 2010

trying to do it all


So, this week I looked around my house and around my life and had the realization that "all" can't be had. My laundry lays in piles, I'm listing items in my Etsy store and trying to play Play-Doh at the same time, I'm stamping boxes and printing out shipping labels while I'm cooking dinner, I work until the wee hours of the morning and come to bed only to realize I haven't said two words to my husband all day. I realize, at this very moment, I have bitten off more than I can chew. So what gives? What has to go? I can't get rid of my kids, not yet anyway, and they are all going to have to wear clothes (clean ones) and eat, my husband is definitely a keeper and I love my book club. The jewelry, the jewelry,...where does it fit in? I can't live without it, I'm a crazy person if I'm not working in my studio. It actually happened, the crazy non metal working person. It wasn't pretty and I have several poorly knitted afghans and sweaters to prove it. But the jewelry studio, at this point, is a blessing and a curse. It keeps me sane, sure, but it's a drain on our tight finances and a drain on my time with my family. It's so hard to find balance in a life with so much love and so many interests. Right now, my children are sleeping and my husband is away and I should be in the studio working but I feel pulled to sit and to think. All this rushing from thing to thing, from love to love, has made me into a sort of robot who completes her tasks without much thought, a domestic and artistic automaton. In this new year I want a challenge, I want to relax the "sell stuff" part of my brain and flex my "make stuff" muscle. maybe even "make crazy stuff". So, I can't do it all, but let's see how it works out if I just relax and do some.

1 comment:

  1. Wow Ann, add my job into your mix and you've just described me! It's so difficult but the jewelry thing is what keeps me sane. Without that creative outlet I have a hard time with everything else. I just have to pay attention to the little, and not so little, nudges from my family and my brain. "It's time to stop for a while, we'll be here when you're ready to come back (that's the studio speaking)"

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